The year 2013 came and went in a flash, (deja vu) but despite what your worst games of the past year are – here’s a collection of the shit pile games for the whole of 2013 as reviewed by thisisxbox. We reviewed around 110 titles all in all (not including DLC, Controllers, Headsets, Books) and maybe some of the worst offending games going by our opinion might surprise you! You’ll have to let us know in the comments box below.
As well as the title, below are brief snippets from the reviews – to read them further just click on any of the titled links and a new page will open. During this year we changed our review scoring from a standard 1 – 10, into a percentage based mark up to 100%. Scores have been converted to a percentage.
SpongeBob SquarePants Plankton’s Robotic Revenge – Scored 10%
Reviewed October 26th 2013 // Xbox 360
SpongeBob SquarePants Plankton’s Robotic Revenge is downright awful if you’re an adult; even if you find the cartoon series remotely funny, the video game itself within Plankton’s Robotic Revenge is graphically vile and borderline depressive. With a PEGI rating to suit gamers aged 7 years or older it’s likely to be quite insulting to a seven year old who is likely to get bored to death looking at some of the worst underwater scenery ever created with SpongeBob himself looking more like a choc-ice with teeth. It begs the question if the design department of Behaviour Interactive were all on work-experience during the development of this super sickly garbage.
Ride to Hell Retribution – Scored 10%
Reviewed July 12th 2013 // Xbox 360
So, we know the action is hard to find, the gameplay is limiting, visually words fail me, and to top it off there’s only so much shit you can take in one game! I didn’t even complete it because there is no way on this earth I could believe it could improve in any way whatsoever. It’s boring, filled with a ton of cut scenes, bad weapons that fire endless amounts of bullets into enemies who are near on invincible until you punch them. Unrealistic physics, a mass amount of horrendous dialogue, and you will fast tire at seeing the same old Jake ride the same old roads on the motorbike from hell. When you’re not on the motorbike you are just exploring small internal areas and smacking a short horde of enemies in the face with your fist or a wrench until you meet a boss type biker who is a little tougher to beat. It’s a rinse and repeat effort, then more cut scenes, more bad action!
Le Tour de France 2013 100th Edition – Scored 15%
Reviewed July 8th 2013 // Xbox 360
Spreading the sheer crap even further afield you can show a friend how awful the game is by allowing them to play with another controller cooperatively on the main Tour de France race or separately via the Versus Mode on the Main Menu screen. I didn’t get to try this mode, but it could be fun with extra players – sadly I might never find out, nor want to come to think of it! The only way I can describe the gameplay mechanics of this year’s cash ‘n’ grab on the famous Le Tour de France annual race is that the whole process of cycling feels automated. You simply hold the RT button to cycle and direct the cyclist around bends. There’s no sense of speed, no noticeable changes with gear switching and each chapter feels as though it’s a predetermined outcome dependent upon whether you choose to eat a banana or biscuit during the race.
Deadfall Adventures – Scored 25%
Reviewed November 13th 2013 // Xbox 360
What would a game be without horrific tacked-on multiplayer? Deadfall adventures is no different. It controls just as badly as the single player game. It also features modes such as Classic Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Treasure Hunt Mode, and Co-op Survival Mode. There’s nothing to be said about the online aspect of the game that I haven’t already said about the single player. Of course, the game isn’t out yet so I couldn’t get much playtime due to a lack of players. However, I believe I had enough time to form a valid opinion about the multiplayer, and it’s just as bad as single player.
The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct – Scored 30%
Reviewed March 25th 2013 // Xbox 360
The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct just looks bad. An original Xbox game under the guise of a current gen game. There only appears to be detail on Daryl and Merle’s faces. Everything else is blandly textured and it looks as though not much effort went into them. All NPCs in the game may as well be zombies themselves, they appear to have their faces stuck on with glue, much like Max Payne in his first adventure. As for the zombies, I’ve seen the same few over and over again. There can’t be more than five models made for the hundreds that you may see over the course of the game. Now, I’ll be the first to jump to a game’s defense and shriek “but graphics aren’t important, and they don’t make the game”. This is true, when the game has a particular art style. A good example of this is the Borderlands series.
DARK – Scored 30%
Reviewed August 7th 2013 // Xbox 360
To sum it up, Dark is a horrible bore of a game. A genuine contender right alongside The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct for the worst game this year. The story extremely boring and predictable. The only fun came from me switching it up between doing a horrible Tom Hardy impersonation every time the name Bane was mentioned, and pretending the character was actually called Eric Bana. The gameplay is rigid and broken. Stealth barely works, and when it doesn’t, combat doesn’t work either. The sounds and voice acting are some of the worst I have ever heard in a game, and it’s just a 9+ hour agonising struggle to get through.
Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s – Scored 40%
Reviewed November 11th 2013 // Xbox 360
Nickelodeon’s TMNT is a very poor game. Checking the install size on my Xbox was very telling. At just 469mb the game install is a quarter the size of the Out of Shadows XBLA title and this game is no better than an XBLA game in quality and is not worthy of a full retail disc release. It will only really appeal to the young viewers of the TV Show; older fans will gain nothing from playing this game. The very generic feel and execution of the game will have you asking where the retail price of the game was spent during development. It was a real grind to complete it and once completed there was little to make me want to replay the game.
Pro Evolution Soccer 2014 – Scored 40%
Reviewed October 15th 2013 // Xbox 360
To sum up, I once loved Pro Evolution Soccer. It was an amazing series that innovated its use of the beautiful game year after year. After losing their way this generation, they never really did come back. This is a game that utilises nothing new in terms of gameplay. In fact, it appears to back track completely. Ignore the licenses for a moment, put this side by side with FIFA, it just isn’t fun and I wouldn’t recommend it to a soul. I think it’s time for some new blood to try and combat EA and FIFA, I nominate 2K Sports.
Sacred Citadel – Scored 45%
Reviewed April 24th 2013 // XBLA
Despite being fully voice acted, as well as having a beautiful art-style and heavy WoW/Diablo fantasy aesthetic (which I did enjoy!) and the developer fixed the mechanical and technical problems, then I would consider recommending it. Levels are linear and bland, and the enemies repeat themselves over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over… you get the idea, right? There are also too many broken elements to justify the 1200 MS Point price tag.
State of Decay – Scored 50%
Reviewed June 14th 2013 // XBLA
Scouring derelict buildings for supplies in the dead of night, fighting of swarms of undead or sneaking through blood soaked forests was all hugely entertaining. However I just can’t help but feel a lot of my enjoyment came from the fact that I wanted to enjoy it. Now I have finished it, and the review is complete. I won’t be playing it again in the foreseeable future, at least not until I hear CO-OP has been released and I can jump in with friends and see if that adds more to the game. With game breaking technical issues, promises just not delivered upon and a promising start but ultimately weak narrative SoD could have been so much more. That said it was a massively impressive first attempt for Undead Labs, I look forward to hearing from them on game add-ons and developments.
So, that completes our collection of the worst games during 2013 – but if you fancy checking out what we deemed to be our Top Ten of the past year, head on over here.